


A Failure in Attachment

by TheGeniusCallsYou



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Eobard has hard time accepting that he's no longer just Eobard but Wells as well, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Snowells, Whump, complicated feelings, injure recovery, light snowells, particle accelerator explosion and aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 01:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12024915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGeniusCallsYou/pseuds/TheGeniusCallsYou
Summary: He should turn away and head for the exit. He waited too long for his plan to succeed to have it all perish because of some six trapped people. Yet he made his way up the ladder. And when he climbed one step after the other, he knew he wasn’t doing it for those six people, he was doing it for the one person only. He was doing it for Caitlin Snow, to whom he grew to deeply attached and he was cursing himself for that even now.





	A Failure in Attachment

**Author's Note:**

> A break from studying fror exams hit me hard with sudden snowells feels and more over Eowells feels. So, here is the result with visible snowells hints. I always thought that the show glazed over the explosion and the "was Wells really paralised?" dilema.
> 
> Please, bare in mind that I'm not a native speaker, so it's possible that you will find some spelling mistakes there. I apologise for any of that, I tried eliminating them as much as I could but some alway will escape me.
> 
> If you have a moment, please leave a comment, I would love to hear your thoughts :)

The man known to the world as Harrison Wells laid still in the hospital bed. It had been two weeks since the Particle Accelerator explosion, ten days since he had woken up, a week since he had learnt about the deaths off all the people, including Ronnie’s, one day since the unexplained power outages in the hospital had started. Well, unexplained to all but him anyway. He well knew the source and couldn’t wait for the next step off his plan to begin. Yet, as he tried to shift on the bed, he felt a stabbing pain travel from his lower back to the rest of his body. He wasn’t a man prone to pain but he found his muscles tightening in spasms and his eyes screw shot. He tried to move himself into a foetal position but his legs wouldn’t move. He cursed under his breath as he sprawled himself on his back and took deep breaths. He wanted to scream in frustration. That part wasn’t planned, and yet somewhere in his brain there was a whisper that it all served him right. That whisper strangely reminded him of Harrison Wells’ voice and he cursed the man for his altruism and deep care for people. He so much hated the man for messing with his own moral compass, or lack thereof. Unfortunately, before he could curse Wells’ any further, he felt a light touch on his right hand which was tightened in the sheets. 

“Doctor Wells, are you ok?” Caitlin Snow. How is that, he didn’t hear her come in? “Take a deep breath for me. That’s it. Now, another.”

He followed her instructions and soon found the pain slightly lessening. He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly a couple of times then turned his head towards her.

“Caitlin… Doctor Snow –“

“ - Do you want me to get a nurse? Some painkillers?” She didn’t let him finish as he could feel her tightening her hold on his still clenched hand. He took another deep breath and shook his head. He loosen his fist, moved his hand atop of hers and squeezed it.

“They won’t help anyway.” His mouth twisted in a bitter smile. That was true, his faster metabolism took care of his tolerance of any medication. He knew that some hospital stuff were wondering whenever he wasn’t a secret drug addict but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He looked at her again as she stood next to his bed. There were bugs under her eyes, her skin looked pale and he could feel slight tremors going through her body as he held her hand. He felt a pang in his heart and for once didn’t try to stop those feelings that he insisted weren’t his own. He sighed and squeezed her hand again. 

“Why don’t you sit down?”

She flashed him a small smile as she took a chair with her other hand and put it near his bedside. That smile didn’t reach her eyes and he had to resist the sudden urge to pull her towards him and hold her close. Even when she sat down she looked too lost and too vulnerable for his likening, her eyes shone with unshed tears. Still, she didn’t retreat her hand from his. Eobard must admit that if he had one regret about the current situation it would be the woman now sitting next to him.

“How about you tell me, what Cisco has been doing?” 

He needed to take her mind off the current situation. He knew she was still thinking about Ronnie and about him, considering how he had found himself in this mess. Talking about someone different my help her to let go a little, weirdly Eobard didn’t want to see her this sad. As she talked, he found himself thinking back to the night two weeks ago from now. To the one moment, he didn’t anticipated. And what he didn’t know, that even as Caitlin was speaking her mind went to that night as well.

******

Two weeks ago…

He watched as the champagne lifted from the bottle and then hung mid-air to sharply fall to the ground, spilling under his feet. He knew that would happen but it didn’t change the feeling of shock mixed with excitement that blossomed inside of him. 14 years. It was finally time. All his actions and careful planning were leading to this very moment. That was probably why he felt a little bit anxious, yet what surprised him was a weird feeling rising in his stomach. It was guilt. It risen up just as he had received a message from Cisco that Ronnie managed to contain the explosion. He frowned. Eobard Thawne never felt guilty about anything. But he wasn’t just Eobard Thawne anymore, was he? It confused him sometimes, those feelings that clearly weren’t his. Those feelings that kept him awake through so many nights.

The worst had been his first year. How could he cry over a woman that he had never met, that he had killed never the less? How only a glimpses of blond hair on the street could make him seek a bottle of alcohol as soon as he had gotten back to the flat for the first month? He had been angry then, so angry. He didn’t ask for any of this, he didn’t ask to be stuck in this primitive times, to experience those emotional breakdowns. It was all Flash’s fault and couldn’t wait for the moment when he would get his revenge for all of his sufferings. It took him some time, but he learned how to control his emotions, push them aside and squash them before they could do more harm than good. 

That’s exactly what he did right now as he made his way to the Time Vault. He couldn’t feel guilt or remorse, not when he was about to witness the crowning of his careful plotting as the lighting stuck Barry Allen and sent him flying across his room. He smiled under his nose as the whole building shook. Not long now, he already was able to feel speed faintly travel through his veins again, soon he would go back home. 

“Doctor Wells, my sensors are picking up six unauthorised life signs inside the laboratory.”

The smirk dropped from his face as soon as he heard those words and a dread filled his heart. No, it wasn’t his feelings. Why did he feel that way?

“Gideon, show me the camera feed.”

A screen popped up and what he saw made his blood run cold. Illuminated by the red light there was Caitlin Snow running with other five scientists through the corridor. One of the panels at the wall exploded, hitting one of the them and throwing him onto the floor. He cursed under his nose and run a hand through his hair. What the hell was she doing there?! The lab was supposed to be empty by now.

“Gideon, what is the status of that section of the lab?”

“The risk of collapsing is 70%.”

Damn it. 

“What about the elevators?”

“The elevators are off-line.”

That left the stairway. It’s good that he had the plans of this place memorised. Eobard debated his options. But his mind went blank as soon as he heard a woman's scream from the feed just before in broke. He put back his glasses and went out from the Time Vault faster than he really thought and whipped out his phone. The building shook again and he had to lean on the wall for support. He put the phone to his ear just as a lose wire fell from the ceiling. 

“Where are you?” He asked as soon as he heard her picking up.

“Doctor Wells?” She was panting and out of breath, he could hear them all running. He took a sharp turn to the left and quicken his piece. 

“Yes, it’s me. Caitlin, I know you’re still in the building. I’m coming to get you, but you need to tell me exactly where you are.”  
He rounded the corner and smashed the panel on the wall. He moved his phone to rest it against his shoulder and made a quick work with the wires. Part of the wall jumped to the side revealing a leader. He was glad, that he didn’t order it to be removed as soon as the construction ended. This way would be much more quicker than the stairs. 

There was silence on the other end.

“Caitlin!” He was momentary surprised how urged his voice sounded. Even more surprising was the spike of fear that he felt.

“We’re nearing the botanic lab.” She finally answered out of breath. 

There was something else in her voice that he couldn’t pin down but he brushed it aside. Botanic lab. Shit. 

“When you reach it turn left. Go through the door to the research centre. When you reach the next corridor, aim for the stairs – the elevators are not working. I will meet you there.” He didn’t wait for her response and put away the phone. 

Damn it all to hell. This could change everything. He should turn away and head for the exit. He waited too long for his plan to succeed to have it all perish because of some six trapped people. Yet he made his way up the ladder. And when he climbed one step after the other, he knew he wasn’t doing it for those six people, he was doing it for one person only. He was doing it for Caitlin Snow, to whom he grew to deeply attached and he was cursing himself for that even now. 

He felt the speed traveling through his veins. His connection was faint but it was there. He could finally feel it after 14 years. He focused on that feeling and quickly found himself tapping into the Speed Force. It wasn’t much, it won’t last for long but it should be enough. His eyes flashed red and then there was only a red lightning trail left in the place where he previously stood.

***

Caitlin run down the stairs with four other scientist behind her. There were six of them, now it was four. She was scared out of her mind. She didn’t know what pushed her back into the building but as soon as she had heard that there were still people missing, she had turned around by the door and ran back inside. She was hurting all over. Ronnie was gone, she knew that as soon as she saw Cisco but she didn’t have time to mourn him yet. She could still join him and part of her wanted it very much but she wasn’t alone in this building. The people that were running with her were her responsibility. She had promised them, she would get them out. When she felt her phone buzz and then when she heard dr. Wells’ voice she felt so relieved that she could have wept. The moment he told her he was coming for her… her heart fluttered in her chest but she felt paralyzed from fear too. She couldn’t lose him as well. But in the end she had told him and she had followed his instructions.

They all came to a halt and she jumped as one portion of the wall flew aside. But then she was flooded by relief as she saw him climbing threw that hole. Jumping from what looked like a ladder. Just as he was stepping on their floor she saw a red light reflecting in his eyes. But as he turned his head towards her there was no trace of it. It was probably the alarm lights, because what else. It didn’t matter. He was alright even if he was panting for breath and his white shirt was now stained with dust. He must have left his jacket behind. 

Her musings were interrupted when he all but crushed her in his arms and she melted against him not minding the other people on the stairway. He hold her like that as she mangled her fingers in his shirt and stiffed a sob. Standing among this chaos with still shaking ground, it was difficult to believe that just a couple of minutes ago everything was perfectly alright.  
Finally Harrison Wells took a step back and looked at her searching her face.

“Are you alright?” He asked and she nodded then whipped a hand across her eyes. He was still holding her by the shoulders when he turned to the others. She noticed the small pieces of debris stuck in his hair.

“And you all?”  
They all nodded then one of them shifted her feet.

“Emerson and DeCosta didn’t make it, sir.”

Caitlin saw as the muscles in his jaw tightened and how he let his eyes close for a second and slowly exceled. He opened his eyes and looked at her then nodded to the others.

“We need to get out of here, now.”

He slipped his hand into hers and pulled her forward. Nobody commented on that and she didn’t try to pull away. It felt oddly right and even in all the chaos she felt herself calming down by his presence. They all would be ok, they have to. Harrison won’t let any harm to come to them. She didn’t even noticed that in her brain he stopped being dr. Wells.

Even when they found their path blocked by debris Harrison didn’t show anything but calm and lead them back up. He kicked the door to their right open and they ran. They were only one floor above the main level. It wasn’t far. But just then the whole building shook sending them all sprawling onto the floor. The alarms were blazing, the whole area was bathed in red. There was something sticky coming down from her forehead. She must have hit her head on her way down. When she got on her knees and looked up, she saw Harrison kneeling and looking above her. His pupils were widely blown out and for a moment she again could have seen red reflecting in his eyes, yet when she blinked it was gone. She fallowed his line of sight and noticed a large portion of the ceiling hanging loose above them. He then looked at her and their eyes locked. 

“Run.” He said as his hand darted toward her elbow prompting her get up. 

She did just that. Looking over her shoulder she saw as he pushed others up and then followed them.

Another tremor. She heard scratching above but she didn’t dare to look up. Her heart was threatening to burst through her chest.  
She saw a white shirt in the corner of her eye and soon he was beside her pulling her towards one of the walls. He came to a stop and slammed his hand hard on the wall. A small portion popped out reviling a panel with wires.

“It’s good I didn’t have it all removed.” He said flashing her a quick smile as a part of the wall moved aside to reveal another ladder. 

More tremors and noises could be heard that made Caitlin feel nauseous. They both let the other scientists go first but her eyes never left his face.

“There is another panel down below, but it only needs a little push and the wall will move to the side. It’s easer from the inside.” 

Just as he finished his sentence the ground shook and it was stronger and more violent than before and it didn’t stop. Wires and sparks fell down, they both covered their heads. They could see a fire starting at the end of the corridor. 

“Caitlin go!” He grabbed her elbow and turned her towards the ladder.

“What about you?!”

“Just go!” He pushed her inside not letting her argue anymore. 

He forced her to go down the ladder. When she looked up she saw him putting his left hand on the step, his body still mostly on the corridor. Just then her blood ran cold.

“Dr. Wells!!!” She shouted. He whipped his head towards her and then back up.

The ceiling was getting loose. They would be all buried alive. She was frozen in place petrified and then his eyes locked with hers. What she saw in them made her want to scream even more. In one moment Harrison Wells was looking down at her, his expression unreadable, then he was stepping off the ladder and slamming his hand against the panel. The wall have closed and everything went dark. There was a loud rumble just outside. The unmistakable sound of debris falling down. Someone screamed. Caitlin didn’t know that it was her.

***

He didn’t know how much time have passed. It took him awhile to recognise where he was. His head was in shambles. There were million thoughts raising through his mind and he couldn’t stay focus long enough to grasp even one of them. His ears were ringing but he could hear a voice somewhere above him. Muffled and, to his brain, speaking some gibberish. He coughed and tried to move but it sent spikes of pain and made him cry out. That sent his lungs on fire and made him cough more. Then there were hands on his face, holding his head so he wouldn’t move it but that his airway were clear.  
He tried to focus on the voice above him.

“…ells..ou..ear…Doc…lls…can…hear…Doctor… you…me…”

He furrowed his brow and opened his eyes. He saw a blurred face just above him. It took him a moment to recognise that it belonged Caitlin. Her mouth were moving.

“Doctor Wells, can you hear me?”

“Cait…” He rasped and that single word sent him into a coughing fit. She moved to hold him down. He moved his hand to his forehead and squinted his eyes as it came away bloody. He also noticed that he no longer had his glasses. “What…” He tried to clear his throat. “What happen’…”

“You were in a accident.” She answered but he could feel that there was more to it than just accident. He tried to think.

“The accelerator…” He mumbled and watched as she nodded. Just then he tried to move but found himself unable to. He felt panic rise in him at a very quick piece as his brain finally caught up to what was wrong with him.

“I –“ He swallowed and looked around blindly. “ My legs - I can’t feel my legs.” He tried to sit up but again couldn’t. “Oh, God. I can’t feel my legs.”

It wasn’t in his plan. He was the Reverse Flash, nothing was beyond his control. But now, He couldn’t feel it. The Speed Force, it wasn’t there. And...

“I can’t feel my legs.”

“Doctor Wells –“

“I can’t - i can't feel my legs.” He moved his head up and saw that the bigger part of his lower body was crushed beneath concrete blocks.

“Oh, God – “ He felt himself hyperventilating but just couldn’t help it. What if he couldn’t heel from it? His connection with the Speed Force was shaky at best, it broke just as the celling came down on him … what if he wouldn't run ever again? Wouldn't feel the wind on his face or grass beneath his feet? No, no, no...

“Doctor Wells –“

“ I can’t –“

“Harrison!” His eyes snapped to her. She was squeezing his hand so hard that it hurt but it helped him to focus. Her other hand was on his cheek.

“Just look at me. Breathe with me. That’s it. In and out. That’s right.” He looked into her eyes and breathed in the same tempo as her.

“Caitlin…” He tried to say something but he lost his voice.

“Shhh, don’t speak right now. The paramedics are coming. We’ll get you out of here. Just stay awake.” She was crying, he could tell but his mind was raging with million question that couldn’t be answered. He just hoped that the Speed Force wouldn’t let him down. He have waited 14 years…  
He passed out just as they started to lift the first piece of debris off him.

 

***

“- Doctor Wells?” He was pulled out of his thoughts by Caitlin’s voice. He turned towards her.

“Yes, dr. Snow?”

“I’ve asked if you were ok? You looked a little pale for a moment there.”

He looked closely at that woman. For her he risked his plan. There wasn’t a trace of doubt in his mind that if she wasn’t among those scientists, he would run away from there letting those people be crushed in that shift. But instead he decided close the door in the last moment to save them. How noble of him… He's lucky that the Speed Force didn't left him for good...

“When was the last time you slept, Caitlin?” 

She seemed to be taken aback by his question. But he could see how tired she was. She didn’t answer but started to play with her fingers not looking at him. He sighed and shook his head, then looked at her.

“Come here.”

Her head snapped to him and her eyes winded.

“I… What?”

He sighed again.  
“There is enough space for the two of us here and you need to sleep. It’s not healthy, Caitlin.”

She still looked startled but she stood up from her chair and came closer to his bed. 

“You’re hurt…”

“So are you.” He didn’t look away from her and finally she met his gaze.

“I’m not –“

“One does not need physical wounds to be hurt, Caitlin.”

She swallowed then and sat down on his bed. He moved his hand and guided her down so her head rested upon his chest. He put his arm around her shoulders and held her close.

“When I wake up, he still won’t be here.” She murmured against his hospital gown.

Eobard found his heart breaking for the young scientist. He didn’t know what pushed him to what he did next, maybe it was the same thing that made him run up a ladder and take a concrete block to his back for her, but he found himself bending a little and planting a soft kiss to her hair squeezing her shoulder at the same time. 

“But I will.”

Eobard felt her relax against him and closed his eyes. He wasn’t supposed to get attached. He had failed.


End file.
